Minority Report

Eyeing the barbeque through the window
in my bathrobe and slippers
it probably isn't a stretch to say
i've reached new lows.

unemployed for six months
uninsured for three
invoice on the desk outlining
$120 in overdraft fees.
two unpaid parking tickets
under my arm and to the left
a $25 credit card
late fee notification.

surely this is what killed
dylan thomas.

I sip on a coors light at 3:27 while
waiting for an email from my editor.

Being semi-retired isn't for the
faint of spirit,
it takes awhile to round
into it.
And as a libertarian
i'd be kind of a hypocrite
to look for a government
handout now.

so i'm sort of stuck.

The problem isn't
a lack of vocational
interest. No,
i am interested in
a great many things.
too many things, really.
so i become paralyzed.

if i follow one interest, i
eliminate the possibility of
pursuing others.

yet, few things inspire
enough to spend 40 hours
a week Losing myself to them
Coming home exhausted because of them
Spending my nights stressed and anxious
Because of them.
All to meet a mortgage or to bust my ass
for a retirement I may never see.

Fuck that.

I'm taking my retirement now.
when I want it. when I can paint and write
without arthritic fingers and wrinkled balls.
when I still have a third gear I can utilize
on a deep corner route

People may respond to this:
Well, now, be realistic, life is about
doing things you don't want
to do. Nobody really loves their job.

i agree. most people who love their
jobs are small people with small
minds.

I read the papers
I watch the faces
All The obviousness
The unoriginality

Most everyone seems uninterested
or worse . . . uninteresting
or worse yet . . . trying to be interesting
and becoming something else
something less

People having kids because they are bored
People having kids because they can't find
fulfillment in their own lives
People having kids
because they are afraid to recreate
themselves
because they are afraid to die
alone

still, most people who don't have kids are even
worse. polluting first thursdays with their
paint by the color poetry. polluting last thursdays
with their false sense of poverty.

This is a strange den we've found ourselves

if life is about obliterating yourself
in the pursuit of asinine tasks to fulfill
requirements whose
existence you've never questioned
what's the difference between the gallows
now, or a hospital bed later?

The ride?

What ride?

Sounds more like an ignoramus
Free Fall.

I've been saying this shit for years.

And about every 2.5
i write a poem just like this

its become a bit of a tradition

just like my life cycle.

But I must say,
most nights around 11pm
i really start to like this gig.
the house is quite
i pop in a documentary
recline in my vintage
orange chair

You cant take that from
me.
You cant take that hot
dog i'm grilling
right now
either.

And you sure as hell
cant take my life from
me, in tiny broken increments
unless I give it to you.

Social conventions be damned.

~01/07