Night Before Leaving Washington

most of my words
are sad
but i am not sad.
just in love with
the
feeling

most days i can't
feel anything.
i talk, walk, dress
watch tv, eat dinner
with my roommates
debate politics

and nothing comes to
the surface, no
life is born
no death is felt.
just a blameless
nameless
limp through
another day.

so I find things
to make me
sad
to make me
feel
something, ANYTHING

i leave my family
and friends.
i fall in love
with various women
i know won't
love
me back

i sit by myself
for hours on end
looking at the
lights,
all the
couples
everywhere.

i remember the
great people i've
met.
all the great things
ive done
great books i've read
great towns i've seen

then i conjur leaving
the friends i've made
in this town.
all the blood sweat
and tears i've put
in. the memories
laughs, drinks, parties
talks.

and i tell them i'm
leaving, their eyes drop
they grow sad.
i do the same.
then i write
these words
Down.